Author: danielc

… Don’t discount yourself.

I was recently told by an older and wiser man to not discount the things that I’ve gone through this year… He said that even though it doesn’t seem like they were major changes, they were; I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished.

In January of this year, when I started a program, I told myself and my friends in my group that I was going to get a new job. In May, I ended up in a job that I absolutely love.

I graduate the program in January of 2018, which is almost right around the corner.

I had a breakup this year; I’ve been rejected more times than I’d like to admit. However, I’ve moved out on my own and I’m more independent than I’ve been in the past few years.

I have accomplished almost everything that I had sought to this year. The only thing that I haven’t been able to accomplish is in regard to my weight and fitness.

I’m going to have some spare income which will allow me to get a gym membership and hire a trainer. Because of my graduating the program, my schedule is going to open up and I might as well put the extra time to good use.

I’m going to get my license back in January and by mid February, I should have a car.

A lot has happened in the past year, even if it doesn’t seem like it to other people. The year has flown by and I’m glad to have been able to remain sane during it.

My resolutions are going to be simple for next year…

  1. Get in better shape by working out at least three times a week, using Snap Kitchen for food, and by working with my doctor.
  2. Get my license back and a car
  3. Get my finances in better order
  4. Quit nicotine

I’ve mostly quit smoking already and I’m down to 4-5mg/ml of nicotine inside my vape. I’m going to leave it at that for a while and then start reducing it again until I’m at zero.

I’m hopeful for next year. I’m sure that it’s going to be a lot better than this year. However, even though I had a couple of down points this year, it hasn’t been all that bad. Actually, it’s been a little awesome. 🙂

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… What do you write about?

So, earlier today, I was asked what I wrote about… I didn’t really have a good answer because the most writing that I’ve done lately has been on this blog.

I’ve been thinking about a few different stories; I don’t know which one I’m going to run with. However, I’m going to write random posts on here so that a story can potentially develop out of them… I’ll have them tagged with “Random” so that I can easily identify them.

Rather than the answer of “random shit from my life”, I think I should come up with a better answer… Although, that does describe most of my writing, even if it’s poetry, it’s still inspired by my actual life.

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Saudade

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Sometimes I need to remind myself of the ephemeral nature that we all have on this little blue dot in the great cosmos. Everything in this world is temporary. My life is one that is just borrowed from the Universe; some day the energy and matter that makes up my body and soul will eventually be returned.

I feel saudade… (I find it a little humorous that English doesn’t have a single word/term: I found it in Portuguese.) Maybe the terms “nostalgic melancholy” could begin to convey what I’m feeling, but I still feel that it’s missing something in the translation.

I’m grateful to have had the time with those who have made me into the person that I am today. I think that everyone that I’ve met has influenced my life in some way, even if it is only a small divergence from my previous course.

I’ve had many dreams where a faceless person and I share love: I just wonder if I’ll ever meet them or if I have already. Is it the same person or is it a composite character of many individuals over time? Every time I start to figure out who they are, I wake up.

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Second class citizens

I’m tired of being a second class citizen.

When an institution can allow discrimination based on any attribute that an individual shares with a group, they are creating a class or group of “lesser” people.

I thought that we would have made progress by now. There is no place for religion inside the government (separation of church and the state); however, it seems that most of the arguments used against my people is based on religion.

Please show me a reason that doesn’t include religion or “social norms” to support your argument that I should not be able to provide for my partner.

If you want to keep religion as one of the only arguments against my rights, then you should also outlaw divorce. Why not go ahead and ban pork as well as shell fish while you’re at it?

I’m tired of people cherry picking through their scriptures. Either follow all of it or none of it. You can’t go around saying that you’re only 60% Christian. You either are or you’re not, so why do you go through scripture and only select things that you deem fit and relevant? If you say “it’s up to personal interpretation”, then you negate your argument.

Whatever happened to “Love thy neighbor as you would love yourself?” This is repeated in more than just one verse inside the Bible, but I don’t see how people are living it. I don’t think that it said anywhere “Love thy neighbor, unless they’re different than you.”

If everyone would follow this single verse out of the Bible, then we would have a world that has more love and light rather than just suffering and darkness.

 

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There are no strangers here…

This is the first year that I’ve ever spent a holiday by myself.

In the past, I could go home to my family or spend it with friends. Well, I worked today, so I didn’t spend it completely alone, but at the same time, as soon as I came home, there I was. I was alone with my cat. This is the first year that I’ve spent Thanksgiving without any loved ones. Even in the past, such as when I lived in Boca Raton, I would fly back home for the holidays, including Thanksgiving. Last year, I had my (ex)partner to spend holidays with. I feel strange that I’ve only been home to my family once in the past two years and that was just for three days. I think that I may plan a trip down to visit sometime early next year.

I think that the next holiday will be better, or at least I’m hoping that it is. I’ll more than likely see about spending it with a friend or two. I really should have planned for today or have taken today off of work to go hangout with some friends. It just felt a little lonely whenever I came home to my Spartan apartment.

I love living by myself in that I don’t really have to answer to anybody (don’t have a landlord that I’m living with), etc… Also, I can run around nude if I wanted to. I don’t; however, it’s still an option if I ever was so inclined.

The entire point of my human existence is to make meaningful connections with others. In an effort to do this, I put myself out there to meet new people at a coffee shop and a couple of other places. As long as I get out of the house and talk to a random person, then I’m not really alone.

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