So many things that the list continues growing daily.

By | September 4, 2017

My friends laughter, being able to brighten someone’s day just by walking into their work. Being able to wake up with everyday being an opportunity to change my life and change the lives of other people for the better.

My family, my friends, the Internet, computers… The list grows every day. Let me explain some of these things.

My family has always been there for me, as have my few select friends. If it weren’t for my family, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today, nor who I cam become in the future. If I was put up for adoption or put into foster care as a kid (which was never a possibility, but if something bad like that had happened to me), I wouldn’t be able to hear, people would still consider me “stupid”, and I wouldn’t have the job that I have today.

How so?

Well, my grandfather let me use a spare computer of his when I was four. It taught me how to read and write. After about 5 years passed, he gave me the computer along with a modem. This opened up an entirely new world for me. I met one of my friends on a BBS (who I still talk with occasionally via FaceBook, she knows who she is). I met a mentor of mine on a BBS as well. He taught me about Linux and got me in contact with an ISP. I traded giving support for Linux for access to their T1 line… And this got me into the Internet.

If it wasn’t for my maternal grandmother, I wouldn’t hear as well as I do today. She paid for my surgery for tubes to be put into my ears… I don’t think that we had insurance at the time and I couldn’t hear (after being tested extensively, they figured out what was “wrong” with me).

My friends are people who I can call at almost any hour of the night and they’ll answer. We’ve had some great conversations and some of the best memories that I’ve had.

The Internet: it opened up an entirely new world of information for me to consume after I had already went through the entire encyclopedia that my grandfather had given to me. When the first graphical browser came out, I found myself “hooked”. This would eventually become my career… Now for “computers”, I think that I’ve already explained myself.

So there you have it… These are some of the things that are priceless to me… because you can’t put a price on them. Sure, you pay for computers and Internet access… but to me, these things should be considered human rights.

My cat because of her love for me. She’ll lay on my chest until I’m asleep. Lately, I can’t sleep that well unless she’s inside with me so she’ll cuddle… Unless I’m cuddling with a special friend (you know who you are, if you even read this).

Someone said, “your entire life can change with just a single decision.” So, if you keep making the decisions that are “right” for you and without hesitation, and you’ll be ok. I think that her name was “Mel” or something like that on a YouTube inspirational channel. (I don’t remember all of the details, so if you know who I’m talking about, please feel free to add a link to her/them on the comments section.)

via Daily Prompt: Priceless

Continue…

By | September 4, 2017

Continue to believe in yourself. Ignore what anyone says. You are beautiful. Continue to be the best “you” you can be. Don’t give up. Don’t apologize for being who you are. Continue to love the world, even if your heart breaks. Continue to look at others as if they were you… Because in the end, we all end up in the same place. We could all be different iterations of the same entity throughout time, even if we’re overlapping in the current space and time.

Continue to believe in something greater than any single human being. It can be G-d, the Universe, Mother Nature, or anything else you want… Just continue to believe in it.

Continue handing over the problems that you face, but continue to work on them yourself. Even though the Universe/G-d can do amazing things, you need to meet it halfway, otherwise, it’ll be in vain.

Continue to breathe intentionally. Continue to be mindful of others… Continue to live as much as you can.

Don’t just live to work… Continue finding new things that lift up your heart and soul. Continue being friendly with people… Continue being a good person, in action as well as thought — leave gossip behind: ignore what anyone says about you unless it’s constructive criticism.

… Continue to be human, it’s all that you can be in this current form.

via Daily Prompt: Continue

Commit

By | June 24, 2017

A response for: Daily Prompt: Commit

This word has so much meaning to me. I’m committed to making my life better… However, I’m going to concentrate on the word “commitment” as a noun for this post rather than the verb “to commit”. Just a quick disclaimer: this post isn’t directed, nor is is about, any person in particular.

Commitments are some of the most important things to me and people take them too lightly. If you say that you’re going to do something and then fail to do so, I view you in a different light. I’ll give you another chance, but once you give me the commitment of doing something, I really hope that you come through on it. Otherwise, if I give you another chance and then you flake out on me, I won’t ask you for another commitment. If you’re too busy to commit your time to me, even if it’s something for as basic as a thing such as meeting up for coffee: don’t waste my time by making me think that you’ll be there when you won’t.

Basically, don’t waste my time, energy, or your own by committing to do something and then flaking out on me.

I think that I may take a friend’s idea of having rules of engagement for when dealing with him and they’re posted online. I should let everyone know my expectations as well as what they can expect from me. I think that it will help remove any potential misunderstandings and disappointments.

As soon as I stopped worrying…

By | June 21, 2017

I know that it sounds a little far-fetched and like some “hippy shit”, but…

About month or so ago, I made a conscious decision to stop worrying. I noticed that as long as I do the next right thing and I stay positive, good things happen. I don’t consider it “giving up” or saying “fuck it”… I’ve surrendered to the Universe. Ever since then, I’ve been content and a little more happy nearly every day. I’m not euphoric or I may not even appear to be “happy” if I’ve had a long day or if I’m tired, but overall, I feel a lot better now. I find things to be happy and grateful for every day. Gratitude is contagious as are smiles! 🙂

We can only make personal decisions and each of those decisions can influence every other one and potentially touch another person’s life, the same goes in reverse. However, we can’t control what happens to anyone else in the world, nor can we control anyone else, so why try to force the Universe to do our bidding? As long as I keep doing the next right thing and being mindful of my decisions, everything is going to work out in the end, so why worry?

If you don’t have a job that you like and where it makes you die a little inside everyday… Find something else in the interim and quit it. (This hasn’t happened to me, but it’s some advice that I gave a friend recently.) It doesn’t have to be a “perfect job”, just enough that you can live on. I’ve made a few different shifts in my thinking lately so maybe it has something to do with it.

A person told me that worrying is like sitting and rocking in a rocking chair… It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Rather than being stressed about things that are outside of my control, I’m focusing my efforts on things that I can… My health, my partner, my life. I’m a lot happier for it. As long as I have a place to live, I’m not hungry, and I basically have the things that I need to live, then I’m happy.

 

… the unthinkable has happened.

By | June 4, 2017

I was assigned a MacBook Pro at work because it’s what I have to use… and I like it.

If/when I ever have some cash to throw away, I’ll buy one. It’s stable, runs my Linux VM well, etc.

I’m really liking the job. However, I’m counting down the days until I can go buy a new bicycle. I’m going to buy an electric bike to make it to/from work and any of the other commuting that I have to do. I know that it seems lazy, but Austin has some really big hills that I know I can’t do on my own yet. It’ll help me still get some exercise because the more you pedal, the more range you get.

I think that I’ll end need to save up for one… So, I’m going to invest in some locks and some safety gear as well. If anyone has any recommendations, please feel free to chime in. I’d like one that I can get assembled locally at a shop or I might even just go to an electric bike shop here in Austin and buy one locally.

Having a little patience can pay off in the long run.

By | May 25, 2017

For about two months, I was searching for a new job. I have no hard feelings for the company that I was with, but I needed to find something with more hours.

One day, after sending out almost a hundred applications, I finally came to a realization that I would get a job that’s right for me when I needed it. At that moment, I stopped worrying about everything.

I have a family who loves me, a few great friends, and a caring partner. 

I didn’t need to worry about anything anymore.

Worrying doesn’t accomplish anything but give you stress.

As long as I stay sober, do everything that’s asked of me, show up to work and pay for my current bills, then everything will work out.

I’ve got a new job that I start next week and I’m looking forward to it. 

By having patience and not worrying too much about life, I’ve come to the realization that everything will work out ok in the long run. As long as I’m breathing, life is good. 🙂

Daily Prompt: Center

By | February 28, 2017

Today’s post will be a little different as I’m just rambling today. 🙂

Every day, looking for the center of everything… Trying to be in the center of my feelings: not too happy, but not too depressed. I’m always half-way to loneliness. Getting around it by going on random “bus adventures” and then talking to complete strangers… People watching at a cafe or just walking around Austin… Being overly caffeinated just so that I can concentrate while I’m surrounded by distraction.

Finding the center of feelings (not emotions) as I can always appear to be “ok”, even though I’m just indifferent leads me to constant lie to others. However, here at this cafe, I don’t really think that I’m lying… Being surrounded by others helps me be distracted from the loneliness, so why not hang out and see what happens?

 

via Daily Prompt: Center

Daily Prompt: Lush

By | February 11, 2017

This is the first daily prompt for my new blog. This is the universe’s way of expressing itself through humor.

It seems that any time I’ve ever had any trouble what-so-ever with the law, there has been alcohol involved… Instead of playing a game of Russian roulette every time I would drink, now I’m abstaining from it.

I was involved in an accident last year which resulted in me needing to re-evaluate my alcohol use. Even though I was a very infrequent drinker, every time I would drink, it would always be to excess. I could never get a “medium/happy” buzz that most normal people can have. Either I was sober or I was three sheets to the wind… I put the word infrequent in bold because I went out to drink a total of two times in the year leading up to my DWI.

I had been out drinking because I was feeling lonely: my partner and I recently moved to Austin, TX. I wanted to get out and meet new people. It seems that the older you get, the more difficult it can be to meet new people and friends.

I was asked by someone if I missed drinking. How in the hell could I miss something that has caused me such heartache, misery, financial ruin, legal problems, and overall mental anguish? It made me start to laugh a little until I noticed that they were being serious… That’s when I told them truthfully: no, I don’t miss it. I had my last drink of alcohol 580 days ago and I still don’t miss it, nor do I want it.

It’s almost 1:20 AM. Many people who are out and drinking are now dreading the 1:30-1:45 AM “last call for alcohol” while I’m at home writing this and staying out of trouble.

I’d much rather be at a café with the potential of running into someone which results in an organically created conversation that I’ll remember instead of having a mediocre one based on “small talk” that I’ll more than likely forget the next day.

via Daily Prompt: Lush