Important notes for those on “Dating Apps”

I really hate being ignored. 

I went ahead and labeled this “rant-one” in the permalink above because I have a feeling that I might make this into a series.

Let’s say that if someone came up to you in a cafe and tried to start a conversation, just a conversation, with no sexual overtones or anything else. How would you react? Would you turn around and walk away or ignore them?

If someone gave you a compliment, such as, “you have pretty eyes”, in person, does that automatically mean that they want to screw you? What if they’re just trying to brighten up your day?

If someone just needed a friend and was friendly to you out in public, what would you do?

Now on to my rant… 🙂

I may be in the minority, but I look at a dating/social/hookup application or website the same way as I would a cafe or somewhere else in public. Therefore, I try to reply to people, even if I’m not interested in anything other than friendship. I wouldn’t flat out ignore someone and not reply back in public, so why would I do it on an application/site?

Why in the hell would you say that you’re wanting friends if all you want to do is mess around? That’s why there’s the option to not be looking for friends…

To do this, you simply uncheck the looking for “Friendships / Friends” box while making sure that you’ve checked the “NSA / No strings attached / Right Now” boxes. You don’t need to have all of the boxes checked to make sure that your public image isn’t tainted. Trust me, you’re already on a hookup app/site.

If you’re genuinely looking for friends, start behaving like it.

None of the sites or applications require approval for changing the “looking for” sections — you can do this all by yourself.

/end rant.

I don’t need my friends to be “good looking” or otherwise “my type” in real life, so why in the hell would I need it online?

If you’ve ignored me online and you have “wanting friends” listed and I recognize you in public, I will more than likely start a conversation with you or try to… That way, if you walk off or ignore me, thus appearing like an asshole, maybe the embarrassment will teach you something. It’s a lot different when you’re held accountable by your peers, isn’t it?

Posted by danielc in Online Dating, 1 comment

I moved, driving, and other things.

I recently moved into a new apartment. It’s nice, but it’s in an area of Austin that I used to live in. While the interior of my apartment is great, I don’t necessarily feel 100% safe while walking around at night. Someone was “assaulted with a deadly weapon” less than 500-800 feet from my apartment and about 45 minutes before I was in the same exact place that it occurred.

I’m sticking it out for as long as I can so that I can attempt to save up some money before moving again. I figure that I’ll be here for the duration of my lease. It’s going to be next month when I’m finally done with a lot of the things that have been weighing me down. I think that as soon as I start driving again, I’ll feel better about things. Also, I can’t wait until I get a new bed. I’m currently sleeping on a futon that’s a twin size bed when it’s folded out.

I think that I’m going to go ahead and get my insurance squared away within the month so that I can go buy a junker by January.

Now on to a more personal issue…

I think that I’m just wired differently than other people. I’ve met a few people in Austin that seem to “get me”, but I only see them occasionally.

I need people to be direct and to the point with me. They may hurt my feelings for a little while if they want to reject my friendship or potentially romantic relationship, but I’m a big boy. I can handle it.

I’d rather be investing my energy toward bettering myself than chasing after anyone. So, with that into consideration, I think that it’d be best if I’m interested in you in any romantic sense (and trust me, you’ll know), that you reject me if you don’t foresee yourself returning any of those feelings. I’d rather us be platonic friends than nothing at all. It may take me a while to be able to have a platonic friendship, but trust me, I’ll be there eventually.

Whenever I moved to Austin in 2015, I didn’t know anyone here. My social circle has grown some, but I still feel lonely a lot of the time, unless I’m hanging out with people at the coffee shop. Every now and then, I can be surrounded by friends or acquaintances and still feel completely alone, so it’s difficult for me to form connections with people. However, if you can understand how I speak my mind and can get over the potential awkwardness of my brevity, then I think that we may be friends.

I’ll be a true friend to anyone who needs one.

I will be writing a “rules of engagement” for myself which will be published on this domain and occasionally updated. It will be listed in the menu above.

Posted by danielc in Updates, 0 comments

A random Tuesday…

So, last night I was hanging out at Epoch coffee… Ran into one of the regulars and met two new people. During this time, we talked about everything and anything, very openly. I loved every minute of it. At about 1am, one of the guys said, “you want to go grab some tacos?” … Hell yea, I want to go get some tacos! We then proceeded to walk through the night, the three of us, to a taco shop that is open 24 hours. One of the guys played a ukulele so he could get some tacos. He was pretty damned good at it. When we were there, we invited another two people to eat with us… They then asked us how long we’ve known each other because we were “jiving” with each other so well… I met one of the guys that night and the other one sometime last month. They thought that we had been friends for a very long time and it feels that way… Maybe we were friends in a past life or something? I remember reading somewhere at how a few people are kindred spirits and they end up circling each other’s lives… I think that could be true about a lot of people in my life. It was a great experience.

One of the things that I’ve been toying with is just accepting the Universe and the world as it is… Just going with the flow and accepting what comes at me. One of the guys said something that resonated with me… “The neuroses that I may have, I no longer claim as mine… That’s like taking possession of it and it gives it power. Rather, I just accept it as an experience and then it dissipates on its own.”

Posted by danielc in Life, 0 comments

Daily Prompt: Focused

This is going to be a short post… Because I can’t stay focused… Go figure…

I can’t stay focused on almost anything at the moment. My mind wanders around in what seems to be aimless and endless thought. Every time that I think that I can be focused on something, such as writing, I always end up losing my focus and my attention drifts away to something else… Even if it’s for a brief moment, I seem to get stuck on the new train of thought rather than going back to the original one…

I need to find different methods and mechanisms to apply to myself when my attention drifts elsewhere.

 

via Daily Prompt: Focused

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, 0 comments

克服

I decided to start this post with the Chinese text that I have tattooed on my arm. I had a crush on someone that was unrequited and I used the tattoo to “Overcome” the emotional barrier.

Now, I think that I should call upon the power in this tattoo to overcome some obstacles in my life. One of them is how I keep getting in the way of my own happiness. Why is it that I love the chaos that is created in my personal life?

So, to help me overcome this, I’m going to continue to do the following things:

  • Don’t start arguments, but don’t put up with those who do. In other words, be peaceful, but not a push over.
  • Don’t force anything from anyone or anything. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. However, sometimes the Universe needs you to meet halfway, so be sure to do that.
  • Meditate daily
  • Write more often
  • Concentrate on those who make you happy
  • Find other things to do that make you happy
  • Try to connect with other people, even if it’s awkward at first.
  • Don’t isolate

 

via Daily Prompt: Overcome

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, 1 comment

Can we be human in a digital age?

 

To have sympathy for another human is yet another expression of connection and of love in a way. I think that almost every situation that you’re currently going through, someone else has already gone through in some way or another… We all have broken hearts at some point. We all make mistakes. Sure some mistakes are larger than others, but in the end of it all, we’re human, so mistakes are inevitable. If you can’t have sympathy for anyone, then you don’t really care about them in any way.

To show compassion to people should be natural and not forced, why must we work to be compassionate or to have sympathy in some cases? The main problem is disconnectedness. We live in a society where we can obtain the world’s information from our phones, we can communicate with others across vast distances quickly and easily… However, it is causing problems in standard human interactions. For example, when is the last time you’ve gone to a newly moved in neighbor’s house to introduce yourself? When is the last time that you’ve gone on a date with someone without texting back and forth to set a time rather than just spontaneously saying, “hey, want to grab a coffee?”. We live in the digital age where we’re so disconnected from human interaction that I believe that we’re losing ourselves.

via Daily Prompt: Sympathy

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, Life, 0 comments

So many things that the list continues growing daily.

My friends laughter, being able to brighten someone’s day just by walking into their work. Being able to wake up with everyday being an opportunity to change my life and change the lives of other people for the better.

My family, my friends, the Internet, computers… The list grows every day. Let me explain some of these things.

My family has always been there for me, as have my few select friends. If it weren’t for my family, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today, nor who I cam become in the future. If I was put up for adoption or put into foster care as a kid (which was never a possibility, but if something bad like that had happened to me), I wouldn’t be able to hear, people would still consider me “stupid”, and I wouldn’t have the job that I have today.

How so?

Well, my grandfather let me use a spare computer of his when I was four. It taught me how to read and write. After about 5 years passed, he gave me the computer along with a modem. This opened up an entirely new world for me. I met one of my friends on a BBS (who I still talk with occasionally via FaceBook, she knows who she is). I met a mentor of mine on a BBS as well. He taught me about Linux and got me in contact with an ISP. I traded giving support for Linux for access to their T1 line… And this got me into the Internet.

If it wasn’t for my maternal grandmother, I wouldn’t hear as well as I do today. She paid for my surgery for tubes to be put into my ears… I don’t think that we had insurance at the time and I couldn’t hear (after being tested extensively, they figured out what was “wrong” with me).

My friends are people who I can call at almost any hour of the night and they’ll answer. We’ve had some great conversations and some of the best memories that I’ve had.

The Internet: it opened up an entirely new world of information for me to consume after I had already went through the entire encyclopedia that my grandfather had given to me. When the first graphical browser came out, I found myself “hooked”. This would eventually become my career… Now for “computers”, I think that I’ve already explained myself.

So there you have it… These are some of the things that are priceless to me… because you can’t put a price on them. Sure, you pay for computers and Internet access… but to me, these things should be considered human rights.

My cat because of her love for me. She’ll lay on my chest until I’m asleep. Lately, I can’t sleep that well unless she’s inside with me so she’ll cuddle… Unless I’m cuddling with a special friend (you know who you are, if you even read this).

Someone said, “your entire life can change with just a single decision.” So, if you keep making the decisions that are “right” for you and without hesitation, and you’ll be ok. I think that her name was “Mel” or something like that on a YouTube inspirational channel. (I don’t remember all of the details, so if you know who I’m talking about, please feel free to add a link to her/them on the comments section.)

via Daily Prompt: Priceless

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, 0 comments

Continue…

Continue to believe in yourself. Ignore what anyone says. You are beautiful. Continue to be the best “you” you can be. Don’t give up. Don’t apologize for being who you are. Continue to love the world, even if your heart breaks. Continue to look at others as if they were you… Because in the end, we all end up in the same place. We could all be different iterations of the same entity throughout time, even if we’re overlapping in the current space and time.

Continue to believe in something greater than any single human being. It can be G-d, the Universe, Mother Nature, or anything else you want… Just continue to believe in it.

Continue handing over the problems that you face, but continue to work on them yourself. Even though the Universe/G-d can do amazing things, you need to meet it halfway, otherwise, it’ll be in vain.

Continue to breathe intentionally. Continue to be mindful of others… Continue to live as much as you can.

Don’t just live to work… Continue finding new things that lift up your heart and soul. Continue being friendly with people… Continue being a good person, in action as well as thought — leave gossip behind: ignore what anyone says about you unless it’s constructive criticism.

… Continue to be human, it’s all that you can be in this current form.

via Daily Prompt: Continue

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, 0 comments

Commit

A response for: Daily Prompt: Commit

This word has so much meaning to me. I’m committed to making my life better… However, I’m going to concentrate on the word “commitment” as a noun for this post rather than the verb “to commit”. Just a quick disclaimer: this post isn’t directed, nor is is about, any person in particular.

Commitments are some of the most important things to me and people take them too lightly. If you say that you’re going to do something and then fail to do so, I view you in a different light. I’ll give you another chance, but once you give me the commitment of doing something, I really hope that you come through on it. Otherwise, if I give you another chance and then you flake out on me, I won’t ask you for another commitment. If you’re too busy to commit your time to me, even if it’s something for as basic as a thing such as meeting up for coffee: don’t waste my time by making me think that you’ll be there when you won’t.

Basically, don’t waste my time, energy, or your own by committing to do something and then flaking out on me.

I think that I may take a friend’s idea of having rules of engagement for when dealing with him and they’re posted online. I should let everyone know my expectations as well as what they can expect from me. I think that it will help remove any potential misunderstandings and disappointments.

Posted by danielc in Daily Prompt, Life, 0 comments

As soon as I stopped worrying…

I know that it sounds a little far-fetched and like some “hippy shit”, but…

About month or so ago, I made a conscious decision to stop worrying. I noticed that as long as I do the next right thing and I stay positive, good things happen. I don’t consider it “giving up” or saying “fuck it”… I’ve surrendered to the Universe. Ever since then, I’ve been content and a little more happy nearly every day. I’m not euphoric or I may not even appear to be “happy” if I’ve had a long day or if I’m tired, but overall, I feel a lot better now. I find things to be happy and grateful for every day. Gratitude is contagious as are smiles! 🙂

We can only make personal decisions and each of those decisions can influence every other one and potentially touch another person’s life, the same goes in reverse. However, we can’t control what happens to anyone else in the world, nor can we control anyone else, so why try to force the Universe to do our bidding? As long as I keep doing the next right thing and being mindful of my decisions, everything is going to work out in the end, so why worry?

If you don’t have a job that you like and where it makes you die a little inside everyday… Find something else in the interim and quit it. (This hasn’t happened to me, but it’s some advice that I gave a friend recently.) It doesn’t have to be a “perfect job”, just enough that you can live on. I’ve made a few different shifts in my thinking lately so maybe it has something to do with it.

A person told me that worrying is like sitting and rocking in a rocking chair… It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.

Rather than being stressed about things that are outside of my control, I’m focusing my efforts on things that I can… My health, my partner, my life. I’m a lot happier for it. As long as I have a place to live, I’m not hungry, and I basically have the things that I need to live, then I’m happy.

 

Posted by danielc in Inspirational, 0 comments
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